Internal Dialog of the Existential Self

Nothing useful will ever be found here. You should look else where. But if you want to see

Location: Golden, CO

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Toilet ramblings

Toilet seat etiquette can be decreased with a re-designed toilet. You ever wonder why a toilet seat has a seat section and then a lid. Why isn't a toilet made with a built in seat. Could it be the toilet industry is trying to get more money out of you. True more parts that can break with a separate seat and lid which increases the of more sales. Sorry, back to the point, if the toilet seat was part of the toilet, men would not have to put it down after taking a piss.

It seems to me though, that putting the cover down is more important than putting the seat down and that does not seem to be a concern for most people. Covers were add for few reasons and I think there are really important to have and use on a toilet. First, they keep things from falling in them. When I did not put the cover down all the time my cat taught me a lesson. He had a habit of knocking what ever was on the sink off it and into the toilet. Very annoying to go to the bathroom and see stuff in the toilet. So that is one of the everyday reasons for putting the toilet seat down

Second, they provide a good surface in the bathroom to clean the ceiling. If the bathroom is small enough, you don't need to bring a stool in to clean. You can just stand right on the toilet and have little fear of falling in.

Finally, the most important aspect of the toilet cover and not many people realize this. It keeps the Perverted Sea Monkeys from Carcoos invading your bathroom and filming you while you take a shower, brush your teeth or pluck out nose hairs. When the Perverted Sea Monkeys of Carcoos use their jet packs to escape the toilet, they have set up a specific procedure and as everyone knows they must follow procedure. The Perverted Sea Monkeys of Carcoos wait 5 minute from when the lid is open to ensure nothing unpleasant is being dropped in the toilet before they launch. If at any point nothing is going in the toilet for 5 minutes they will then launch and escape the confines of the toilet. They need the lid open to escape though. The reason is that they haven't developed a method to control their jetpacks and they only go in one direction. Because they only go in one direction, they have no way to get around the lid when it is down and are trapped due to the lid and procedure.


Blogger Hedda said...

What does a Perverted Sea Monkey look like, really? And what do they eat? Err, never mind.

2:24 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home